Anthrocide is the official website for D.L. Hamilton, author of several Christian novels and essays.

Things I’ve Learned from “24”

Here are some things I have learned by watching 5 seasons worth of DVD’s of the series 24:


• Is far less physically secure than your neighborhood Baskin-Robbins, allowing captured terrorists to escape at will and kidnappers, assassins, and bomb-/lethal-gas-toting terrorists to enter its nerve center without any problems.

• Apparently screens potential employees by checking their library cards since they have one or more covert terrorist henchmen on staff at all times. These are allowed to provide the terrorist leaders a running commentary on CTU’s actions via cell phone and even to install surveillance cameras anywhere they wish.

• Cannot get through a single crisis day without changing its Director at least three times, often due to terrorist-influenced death.


• Can readily go 24 hours straight without sleep, food, liquids of any kind, or using the restroom (Note: Occasionally an employee may visit a restroom stall but never for its intended purpose. Instead they use them ONLY to make clandestine cell-phone calls).

• All have graphical-interface (PC- or Mac-type) workstations but never, ever use a mouse. Even when selecting a portion of a graphical image such as a satellite photo, they use the keyboard. They have apparently discovered that if one types furiously enough on a keyboard it behaves as a mouse.

• Have the same “security” guys that used to accompany Kirk, Spock, and “Bones” to an alien planet’s surface. They sometimes even wear red uniforms. Like their previous roles, an appearance on camera spells certain doom. Their real job functions are not to provide security but to serve the important role of being casualties.


• May be good or bad Presidents but ALL of their advisors and cabinet members are argumentative, evil, untrustworthy, and, as likely as not, in league with terrorists.

• Have wives who disagree with everything their husbands do and who wield more influence than their husbands.

• May end up as a spokesman for Allstate Insurance.

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