Anthrocide

My first exposure to American Idol was 3 seasons ago (when, I believe, Fantasia won) when I was visiting my sister Linda. I watched and laughed at those who thought they could sing but could not and found the good singers entertaining. As they began to cull down contestants I missed some episodes and lost interest. The next season, though, Becki and I never missed an episode, all the way from the wannabes to Carrie Underwood’s victory. Last season we did the same.

But this year the luster is gone. I’m watching but something is bothering me about it. I feel like I’m being had.

As a practical matter, we’ve all known that 10,000 contestants in an arena cannot all audition before Randy, Paula, and Simon. Logistically it would take them literally years to give each person just 3 minutes. So, intuitively we’ve known that a screening process takes place. And, fundamentally, as a practical necessity, I’m okay with that. However, let’s step back for a minute and review the whole premise here. Ostensibly, this is a singing contest where potential pop-stars are selected from among thousands of aspiring amateurs. Those selected then are pared-down and ultimately, by an audience process of elimination, a winner emerges. With that in mind one would expect that the screeners would be selecting the most likely possible candidates to run past the “supreme court” consisting of the famous 3 judges.

Yet that is not what happens. Some of those with potential are passed to the main judges but along with them are no-talent people wearing Uncle Sam outfits and chicken suits, those who are physically freakish, the perfunctory morbidly-obese contestants, and at least a few with an “attitude” who will cuss (censored) at the judges. The point is, these are not contestants with the possibility of winning, they are clowns who want their 15 min. of fame on TV. But they aren’t comedic clowns who are truly entertaining, they are phonies who we’re supposed to think are interesting just because they are outrageous. This has all the entertainment value of WWF “wrestling” where it’s all staged.

Simply put, the initial “I’m headed to Hollywood” rounds of AI are also staged. Truthfully, one could almost see the producers picking-out someone in a Winnie-the-Pooh outfit or something thinking it might be a kick to the audience. But how are the obviously untalented people with “attitude” selected? Either they raise a ruckus with the screeners and get noticed or someone puts them up to their antics. Either way, it’s bad television, especially when often one of these types can be on screen for nearly a quarter of an episode.

Which brings me to what is needed to get this show on track. This season, in the first city, for example, two full hours of AI were devoted to the auditions there. When all was said and done, only 11 people of the thousands who showed up were ticketed for Hollywood. However, in that 2 full hours, we only saw perhaps 3 or 4 of them. We saw numerous clowns, freaks, morons, and “attitude” people but why not at least the other “good” seven? If they showed one minute of each that’s only 7 minutes out of a 2-hour broadcast. Couldn’t they have shortened the guy in the Uncle Sam outfit and some of those other non-entertainment people and carved out a mere 7 minutes to let us see the others who were selected? That is, after all, the whole point of the show, you’ll recall.

It’s high time AI told all the supposedly funny people in the clown outfits–who are there just to get on camera–to go home. If its drama they want, since they only found 11 in an entire tryout, there should be plenty who get by the screeners but aren’t good enough and who will show unexpected emotions when denied the chance to move forward. It might not be as outrageous but it also wouldn’t be phony.

Of course, with AI riding high as the ratings champ there is no chance they’ll mess with the formula, but they’re starting to lose me as a viewer. Will others follow?